Wings and Chirps

Wanderings of an Itchy Feet

It’s a Girl!

The three deadliest words in the world…they say. To me, these are the most beautiful words that I heard twice in my life.

The three deadliest words in the world, ‘It’s a Girl.’

The recent murder of Pune Techie, Rasila Raju, has shocked me beyond words. She was with an IT giant that most of the people of my generation respected when it came to employee welfare. I hear that this is also history now. Sad.

I am a woman. A girl who grew up in the National Capital Territory. A girl who has spent a significant part of her life in her hometown in Kerala as a school going girl during summer vacations. A woman who has travelled to some of the major cities (including Metros) of this country as part of her corporate job requirement. And I regret the fact that I never felt safe in any of these places.

At home, there were men (read close relatives) who harassed and molested an eleven-year-old and there were women (read mothers) who refused to accept that they did so, let alone pacify the child for what he/she experienced. On the road, there were boys and men of all age group who left no chance of passing crude and vulgar remarks, pressing their bodies against ours, groping and molesting. The newspapers were always full of stories of child abuse and rapes. Bollywood movies that almost always showcased stalking, domestic violence, molestation and rape of women. Even in women-centric movies, it was almost always necessary for the lead to go through such episodes before she became stronger and achieved her dreams.

Why? Why can’t we as parents protect our children from people at home? Why can’t we stand up for the life that we are responsible for? Why do we always put family relations first and children last? Why can’t we teach our boys to respect a girl for who she is, another human being? Why can’t we stop waiting for the last minute? Why can’t we as a society stand up for someone getting harassed in the middle of the road, or on a bus or in a conference room?

No. We won’t. We will never. Because we are a bunch of shameless armchair activists. Even when we witness any such incident, instead of catching the abusers, we will still be whispering amongst ourselves as to how it must be the girl’s fault, it must be her clothes, it must be the time and it must be the place. I have myself been the subject of criticism many a times because I intervened. Be it on a bus, be it on the road or at a function. “Why do you have to react?”, “Why do you need to get into it?”, “It’s not happening to you.” These are some of what is told to me.

After all these years and after Nirbhaya, Soumya, Jisha, Swathi and hundreds and thousands like them, we have still done nothing to keep these rapists at bay. In fact, the slow pace of these cases has just increased their fearlessness.

We are ready to protest as a united force for protecting a certain traditional ritual but we don’t find crime against women and children important enough to stand up as a nation.

I don’t blame men. I blame women. Yes. Women who are the first to blame the victim on the basis of her dressing, choice of career, choice of staying alone, choice of being single, choice of the time of the day, choice of the place. We leave no leaf unturned to make her life hell. So much that we almost often drag them to the edge of committing suicide.

If you haven’t yet, you must read this interview of former CBI Director R.K. Raghavan, presently with the Tata Consultancy Services as Corporate Security adviser.

We cannot root out crime, only reduce its intensity, says Raghavan

I don’t blame the law and order alone. I blame everyone. I blame everyone including myself. Why haven’t we found this issue important enough to protest as a society? Why are our traditional rituals given much more importance than a living human being? Why are these few monsters able to repeat such offences again and again? Why are we giving birth to more and more of them through our silence and apathy?

As I was thinking of this, I had an epiphany. A brilliant one!

Allow gender determination tests across the country. Also, legalise female foeticide. That’ll put an end to all this crap. 

What do you say?

I am serious. We must fight for this. It will help control most of the crimes. You must have heard of that Hindi phrase, Na rahega baans na bajegi baansuri which vaguely means ‘No root, No fruit’. Every problem must be tackled at source. Jad se mita do. No girl. No women. No children. No molesting. No rape. No blame. Jhamela hi khatam! Neither to the government nor to the law and order officials nor to anyone else. Think over it. It’s a fool proof proposal.

If we cannot protect our daughters (and sons) we should rather not give them birth at all. I wish I hadn’t. My heart aches at the mere thought of letting my children live in this rot. And I know that as women this is all that they can expect in pretty much any part of the world. Sigh!

What an idea to share on an auspicious day like Basant Panchami when we worship and pray Goddess Sarawati (read a woman), the goddess of learning, wisdom, knowledge, fine arts, refinement, science and technology, to attain enlightenment through knowledge and to rid ourselves of lethargy, sluggishness and ignorance. The one who educates. A big bunch of moral hypocrites we are!

End Gendercide Manifesto (Picture Courtesy Pinterest)

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9 Comments

  1. This incident depresses as well as infuriates me. I feel awful for the girl and her family, and angry at the system that not only let this happen, but is now covering up. Sad reality of our times.
    Shantala recently posted…Catch-Up Over Coffee #2 (Blog Birthday, Shanaya Tales ‘Birth Story’ + #ChattyBlogs Linky)My Profile

  2. Rasilas murder stresses on the fact that as a society we still haven’t progressed in the true sense. You know sometime back in a group i was interacting with , a person mentioned that with so much of rising feminism women are better of these days and things have improved. But with such instances it shows we are no where near equality. Its true that even today people arent happy having a girl child. We need to evolve as a better society but wondering when it would happen.

  3. No one cares. Never have, never will. It doesn’t affect anyone. Something which is drilled in the system, can’t be taken out so easily. We women, who are so much aware of this and want to bring about change, feel our hands tied in the name of the family, relations, society… what can we expect from our system?

    I see young mothers of our generation who’re not even 30, discriminate so much between the boy and the girl she has, and it pisses me off so much! The girl as young as 9 does so much of the house chores and understands her mother and wants to help her in all the ways, gets beaten for such petty things because of the entire frustration that her mother has (because of her husband or her son) is taken out on that innocent girl. And I see this and I’m not able to do anything about it. Why? Because of the relation that I share with her in the family, I can’t speak to her like this.

    Now imagine, from the childhood, our girls are made weak. She sees it in their houses and grows up like this and in this process, we are somewhere making them the victims.

    I wish there could be a solution for this.
    Geets recently posted…For mornings like these…My Profile

  4. After reading your thought provoking post, I do not have enough to say except feeling angry. I am thinking if Bloggers are a powerful community- Why can’t we get together to shout out over social media. We should get together at the same time and decide the hashtag to reach out people. This way the people or company involved will not be able to hide the things much. What say.

  5. No matter how much people go on about India’s progress, there is one solid fact that is still holds true – women in India are not safe. Every single woman I know in my life has faced either stalking, eve teasing or molestation in some form. We have to watch our back with every step we take. I have asked the same question to my male peers during our casual chats… Have they ever been stalked or eve teased… And they laugh it off because the thought itself is laughable… Which is true in case of men. But ask a girl this question and you will hear stories you cannot believe. This incident is so tragic. She was so young and she had a whole life in front of her. 😕
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…[Fitness] Life’s All Kinds Of ClumsyMy Profile

  6. I can totally understand and would want to say exactly the same words as you have Rekha! I wonder what the media s doing and why there is not much light on the issue. Infosys has covered up well it seems.
    From the moment I read about the murder I have been worried about the state of her parents. Sending children to work in prestigious institutes and finding that all you can get back is a brutally murdered body is truly scary

  7. I understand how you feel. But no one cares. When something happens, people make hullabaloo, go for candlelight marches. That’s it.
    And as Lata said, it’s alarming to know that the media has covered up the incident.
    Shalini recently posted…Vegetable Kadai Masala with Eastern CondimentsMy Profile

  8. The media is soooo silent on this murder. Surely the PR agencies are working over time to ensure this doesn’t get out of hand. And there seems to be a media gag on the employees too. If you notice, there is no mention from Kerala also, which is her home state. No one cares.
    Lata Sunil recently posted…These circuses … Teaser Tuesday 1My Profile

    • Exactly. Some sort of covering up happening. Predictable when the parties concerned are tech giants. Extremely sad state of affairs.

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